I muttered a curse under my breath and refrained from punching the cabinet beside me.
“Yes… Jet? But…” My head snapped around at the mention of Jet Hannigan’s name and Bash jumped up from his seat at the kitchen table. When he reached out to take the phone from Willa she waved him away before plugging her ear with a finger to hear whoever was on the phone better. “Okay. Thank you for calling.”
She hung up and set the phone down before looking at Bash. “That was one of the guards at San Quentin. Jet asked him to call and make sure that everyone knew that Raven should be home in the morning.”
Relief washed over me and the tightness in my chest eased. Raven was safe. She’d just gone to visit her brother. I was going to spank the shit out of her when she got home. “She okay?”
“The guard said that she was tired after spending the morning with Jet so Jet asked her to get a hotel and start home fresh in the morning.” She stepped toward Bash. His entire body was shaking now. I’d never seen my friend like that before. He was losing his shit quick.
Willa put her hand on his arm and he jerked back as if she had slapped him instead. “I have to go…” He growled and pulled his keys out of his pocket. “I have to…” He broke off and shook his head. “Call Hawk and tell him that she’s okay,” he called over his shoulder.
He was out the door before I realized I should have probably stopped him, but I knew that he needed some time alone to pull himself together. He wouldn’t thank me if I saw him break down completely. He was one of the toughest presidents an MC could have. Bawling like a baby in front of a member, even if I was his best friend, would unman him big time. Grimacing, I swallowed the rest of my soft drink and tossed the can in the trash.
Willa glared at the trashcan before turning that cool look on me. “Recycling.”
She put her hands on her hips. “Recycling. Put it in the recycling bin.” She pointed to the pantry.
“Since when do they recycle in this house?” I grumbled as I picked my can out of the trash and opened the pantry door. Inside there were three bins. I saw glass beer bottles in one, plastic water bottles in another, and empty soda cans in the last.
“It wasn’t my idea. Gracie is all about saving the world. She’s been lecturing everyone about the importance of saving electricity, recycling, and countless other things that we need to do to be greener.” She shrugged as she turned off the stove and lifted the pot of noodles. “I’m just doing as I was told. First by Gracie and then enforced by Hawk.”
I smirked. Of course it would be Gracie. The girl was sweet and full of all kinds of innocence. Hawk was in deep with her. Like the couldn’t eat, sleep…breathe without her kind of deep. I knew all about that. For six weeks Willa had been mine. For four years I’d been unable to draw a deep breath.
By the time I had made the call to Hawk, dinner was on the table and Gracie walked in with an obviously tired Lexa. The four of us sat down to eat and I wondered if I could find a reason to spend another night. I was still semi hard from the almost kiss earlier and I was like a junkie in need of a taste of my drug of choice.
My hands were still shaking making it hard to ride. I was lucky I hadn’t wrecked the fucking thing and killed myself. It had taken six hours to get here because of it.
I raked a hand through my hair and put my helmet on my bike before turning to look up at the cheap-ass motel. Raven had her credit cards with her along with the cash I asked her to keep on her in case of emergencies. She could have gone to any number of nicer places to spend the night, but instead she was in one of the seedier parts of the city.
It hadn’t taken me long to find her car. I’d started at San Quentin prison and worked my way back from there. Two hotel parking lots later and I had spotted the Challenger SRT. The powerful sports car stood out in the parking lot full of clunkers and obvious drug dealer’s Cadillac. A doctor or lawyer wouldn’t be driving that kind of chromed out cage.
It was nearly two in the morning and I was probably going to scare the hell out of her, but after the fucking last thirty-six hours I’d had I didn’t really give a shit. She had had plenty of reasons to get pissed off at me over this, but running away had never been her answer to a problem before. Running away was the coward’s way out and Raven Anne Hannigan was anything but a coward.
I walked up to the first door that I came to right in front of her car and pounded on the door. After waiting a few seconds I started pounding again. I heard someone stumbling around inside, followed by a soft curse before the door opened a few moments later.
My breath caught in m
y chest at the sight of Raven. Her hair was a tangled mess, her eyes still half asleep. Dressed in only her T-shirt and panties, my dick instantly hardened for her. Fuck, she was so beautiful. The shaking moved from my hands and radiated to my entire body. Relief like I had never known before in my life washed over me and my knees nearly buckled.
She was okay. She. Was. Safe.
“Bash?” She blinked a few times then took a step back. “What are you doing here?”
I didn’t answer. Couldn’t have if I had wanted to. My throat was blocked with a lump the size of a hubcap and I could barely breathe let along speak. Grasping her arms I moved her back into the room and let the door slam shut behind me. There was a lamp on beside the bed she had just crawled out of so I was able to see the way her eyes widened when she took in all of me.
I was a mess. Hadn’t been able to sleep at all the night before as I paced the house, worried about her. Thoughts of her hurt and scared without me there to protect her… Thoughts of never finding her. Never telling her how much I loved her just one more time and how sorry I was that I had forced getting pregnant on her.
“You’re trembling.” Raven gasped, feeling my tremors as my hands tightened on her arms. She pulled free and pushed me toward the bed. I fell back and took her with me. She landed across my chest and I breathed in the calming scent of her hair. If I was touching her then I could breathe again. “Bash, you’re scaring me.”
“I’m sorry,” I choked out before clearing my throat. “I’m so sorry, Raven.” It was the most important thing that needed to be said and the only thing I could squeeze out of my windpipe. Tears of relief burned my eyes and throat, but I didn’t care if she saw them. Damn it, she needed to see them. To understand how sorry I was for fucking us up all over again.
She pushed herself up so that she could look down at me. Her eyes were full of concern, the hate that had been glaring back at me Sunday night was no longer there. A new relief washed through me and she used her thumb to wipe away a tear that had slipped free. “I’m okay now. I just needed to see Jet to get it straight in my head. I would have been home in the morning, Bash. There was no need to come looking for me.”
“I couldn’t wait that long.” Reaching up I pushed her hair back from her face. Fuck, she was so beautiful. How had I gone a year and a half without her? I must have been out of my mind to have stayed away so long. “If you aren’t ready we don’t have…” I cleared my throat again. “We don’t have to have this baby.” It would slice my heart down the middle but I couldn’t handle Raven leaving me.